Most of my friends are in fairly serious relationships. When I say that, I mean that probably 70% or more of them have significant others. This is fine with me because it’s something that I’ve come to terms with in the last 6 months.
Some of these friends are fun to hang out with even when the significant other is around, in fact, I’m friends with most of the significant others as well! Obviously some of the couples are more fun to hang out with than others and some I’m more willing to hang out with frequently. There’s one minor problem, though.
Third wheeling, no matter how you spin it, is third wheeling (or 5th or 7th wheeling). And frankly, it kind of sucks. I’ve had numerous conversations with KT about how there’s only so much third wheeling a single person can take. Don’t get me wrong, I want to spend as much time as possible with my friends, but sometimes I don’t want to do it with my friends AND their significant others.
One thing that I respect most about some of the strongest relationships I’ve seen is each person’s ability to have their own life. As a single person, I don’t want to constantly hear about your relationship. It’s not that I don’t care about it, I do, it’s that there is more to a person than their relationship. I understand that it’s a big part of your life, but I KNOW that there are other things going on. I don’t want to have to always go out with you and your significant other. It’s not that I dislike spending time with him or her, it’s that sometimes I KNOW that we can have fun on our own and I don’t want to feel responsible for someone else’s good time. Also, it ends up leaving me out.
All of this being said, Friday night was one of those nights when being the odd wheel just got to me. I’d been at a bar with a group of friends for a party. We all had a ton of fun! Eventually, though, we decided that it could be better if there were dancing. So we left and found a nearby place to dance. Perhaps this is where we went wrong in thinking that 6 people (2 couples and 2 single guys) could go dancing together, but I’ve done similar things and not had a problem. Either way, it didn’t take long for me to lose my buzz and my feeling of fun.
Cue the Irish Exit.
Yep, that one went like this:
I start walking towards the bathroom
Nick: Where are you going?
Me: Bathroom, be right back
I left. Sure, I lied, but I didn’t feel like interrupting everyone else’s great night of dancing.
A while later I got some texts asking where I’d gone. I told them that I’d left because I was tired, which was partially true. The moral of the story is: as much as I love to go out and be social, sometimes I would just rather fly solo than be a 3rd or 5th wheel. I’d never ask my friends to not be couply with their significant others on my behalf, just that they be aware that sometimes I don’t want to be the odd man out in that situation.
As much as I’m perfectly content not being in a relationship, it definitely has its downsides. I guess this is one of them.
Earth To Adam 